Monolith

Fifty years after the fact, the majestic black structure found on the moon by astronauts in the film 2001 still stands as a perfect metaphor for the mysteries of space. Left by some vastly superior race, they are present on Earth at the dawn of man and in the astronaut's Jupertarian bedroom in what appears to be his final destination.

Author Arthur C. Clark, the brilliant geek who brought us this vision, describes them as objects that were placed around the universe to observe, interact and when necessary, to regulate... Behave and everybody gets to evolve the way they will, including you messy humans. Eww.

But how perfectly symbolic to turn to a solid black rectangular block as the key to unfolding the mysteries of the cosmos. A big black block o' “Huh?" Never mind, silly Earthlings. When you're ready, you'll know.

Meanwhile, I've got a monolith of my own. No, not a metaphor for a belief or how I live my life. It's a real, miniature model of a monolith! Six inches tall, it's solid black plastic and sits majestically on a dusty section of bookcase, just waiting for me to throw it some attitude. I love this thing, which came wonderfully blister-packed on a card that pronounced it an action toy, featuring "zero articulating parts!" Bought several and gave them to friends couple Xmases back, proudly inviting them into my elite club. They were, all of them, struck more or less speechless with what I can only conclude was sheer and grateful delight. I imagine the places of honor where their facsimiles now reside, these graceful reminders of our puny insignificance in this minute li'l corner of galaxy.

Brothers and sisters, WE are the Monolith. We stand tall, proud slabs of black plastic, wildly gesticulating, windblown, winsome non-articulating parts. Don't let the opportunity pass. EMBRACE the Monolith. BE the Monolith. We are ALL Monoli-Thick.